I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
