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we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
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