I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
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Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
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I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.