So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY