Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.

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  (208): Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible. http://tfl.nu/1gp8
  Replies (27) Good night (2894) Bad night (905)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.

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  (226): forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions. http://tfl.nu/kw3s
  Replies (15) Good night (7910) Bad night (1105)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.

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  (484): bad idea #53- masterbating while on period. http://tfl.nu/6cye
  Replies (80) Good night (916) Bad night (6975)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.

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  (971): I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex. http://tfl.nu/gyof
  Replies (18) Good night (5900) Bad night (1268)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.

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  (251): So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night. http://tfl.nu/7pk1
  Replies (11) Good night (5682) Bad night (1211)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...

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  (631): Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit... http://tfl.nu/oz8a
  Replies (11) Good night (4941) Bad night (1529)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense

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  (207): My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense http://tfl.nu/p3xl
  Replies (11) Good night (6378) Bad night (1073)
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  (650): View more from California

  OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.

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  (650): OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS. http://tfl.nu/26xz
  Replies (37) Good night (9920) Bad night (2272)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night

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  (613): Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night http://tfl.nu/c7ii
  Replies (15) Good night (1199) Bad night (2348)
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  (420): View more from

  Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.

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  (420): Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides. http://tfl.nu/bzue
  Replies (5) Good night (1505) Bad night (553)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.

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  (+61): The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals. http://tfl.nu/0gao
  Replies (0) Good night (725) Bad night (274)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Damnit.

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  (832): If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning (1-832): Damnit. http://tfl.nu/shac
  Replies (2) Good night (531) Bad night (374)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?

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  (712): How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober? http://tfl.nu/4zoo
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (329)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!

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  (309): Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!! http://tfl.nu/ykbd
  Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (284)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.

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  (602): His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers. http://tfl.nu/dqr9
  Replies (3) Good night (553) Bad night (319)

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