Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just so you know, I have a bf.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.

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(847): Just so you know, I have a bf. (405): I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful. http://tfl.nu/esk6

Replies (7) Good night (4030) Bad night (675)
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(631): View more from New York

I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.

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(631): I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens. http://tfl.nu/64xb

Replies (43) Good night (4316) Bad night (731)
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(630): View more from Illinois

She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.

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(630): She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend. http://tfl.nu/zf6u

Replies (14) Good night (5171) Bad night (903)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

You should've just screamed yes we can!

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(270): Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad. (1-270): You should've just screamed yes we can! http://tfl.nu/ng19

Replies (52) Good night (9012) Bad night (1552)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.

(402): View more from Nebraska

Update, its a couple

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(402): On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho. (402): Update, its a couple http://tfl.nu/mrbp

Replies (16) Good night (6636) Bad night (993)
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(317): View more from Indiana

The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad

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(317): The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad http://tfl.nu/cny5

Replies (20) Good night (3548) Bad night (1034)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Come find me please? Im in a ditch.

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

That doesn't help me much...

(604): View more from British Columbia

I'm right under the moon!

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(604): Come find me please? Im in a ditch. (1-604): That doesn't help me much... (604): I'm right under the moon! http://tfl.nu/u7hc

Replies (15) Good night (13952) Bad night (1166)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."

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(330): Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control." http://tfl.nu/dz9s

Replies (12) Good night (1610) Bad night (522)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking

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(787): Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking http://tfl.nu/wzvh

Replies (3) Good night (966) Bad night (504)
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(786): View more from Florida

Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.

(1-786): View more from Florida

Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?

(786): View more from Florida

I insist.

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(786): Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted. (1-786): Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat? (786): I insist. http://tfl.nu/nbuf

Replies (2) Good night (973) Bad night (228)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through

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(401): you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through http://tfl.nu/dquz

Replies (0) Good night (411) Bad night (205)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.

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(303): Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept. http://tfl.nu/gkl8

Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (187)
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(815): View more from Illinois

You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush

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(815): You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush http://tfl.nu/lq9w

Replies (11) Good night (447) Bad night (224)
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(226): View more from Ontario

I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams

(226): View more from Ontario

In case that's what u were picturing

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(226): I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams (226): In case that's what u were picturing http://tfl.nu/1xa1

Replies (1) Good night (300) Bad night (198)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers

(506): View more from New Brunswick

I wanted to have tiny guns for tits

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(506): I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers (506): I wanted to have tiny guns for tits http://tfl.nu/ic3h

Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (152)

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