I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I need moral support for this bender
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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