dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
