Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
