dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
