my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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