i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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