worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
