Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
