I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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