Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
