The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
