It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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