so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Randomize
