I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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