giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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