the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
