Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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