The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
