Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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