dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
