We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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