And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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