we should wear snuggies to the strip club
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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