Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
