...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
