Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
