I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
