And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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