dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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