Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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