I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
