Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
