Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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