Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
