Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
