I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just invented taco cereal.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
