Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
