I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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