Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My liver just had a heart attack.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
