farters have to be the big spoon...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
