All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so explain again why im purple
no
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
