4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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