When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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