you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
