Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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