I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
