So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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