So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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