Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize