Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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