I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
