Have you finally orgasmed yet?
how can u be prego again
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize