i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she woke up with a sticky ear
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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