At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
