the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
