She's JV to your varsity
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
